Bedtime chat

I had the BEST bedtime chat with my Xav tonight.

It's the night before Xander's 5th birthday! So, we looked through his baby book, laughed and oohed and ahhed over his sweet baby cuteness. I sang our 3 songs, and he was OUT.

So, as I laid down with Xav and started singing, he just opened up and starting talking about school...books he's reading, magic tricks his friends showed him, the way his friend Lyric shakes an 8 ball so he gets the right answer. Just moments before, I ached for my own time - exhausted from the "Mom, mom, moms" of the day - and then I wanted to stay and lie longer with my oldest boy listening to stories of his sweet little life.

He retold me all of the books he read today...Swimmy and Fish is Fish (both written by Leo Lionni you know...Xav informed me), Harold and the Purple Crayon, What Do You Do With A Tail Like This, The Magic Eight Ball...the contents of his book bin in school. As a reading teacher, my inner teacher self was doing cartwheels. This kid understood every book he read..and even more than that, he read during independent reading. Instead of chatting (Ms F., woohoo!), he read...he took his time and read and comprehended.

When I finally got up, he literally held onto me and would not let me go. I LOVE this boy with every ounce of my being. I feel so privileged that he let me into his awesome school life tonight...the parts I don't see when I volunteer or peek in when I'm picking up Xan. He let me in. He didn't just say a one sentence response when I asked how his day was.

This motherhood gig...it pretty much Rocks at all times! These times, though, are the best! ♡

Savor

I stood at the kitchen window this afternoon.

It was open, the best crisp cool breeze carrying giggles into the house. 

I really took it in...the laughter of my two oldest boys. I inhaled it and held it in for a bit before exhaling. I'm trying to do this - stop to breathe in my boys - when I see and hear those very precious moments, I am making sure to savor them. They don't always last long. In between the laughter, love, hugs, kisses, singing, dancing, coloring...there is fighting and whining and complaining...oh so much complaining. It is so tiring. (Coffee is a gift from God.)

 So, I'm choosing to inhale the good.

I go back and forth constantly between a string of thoughts and words each day:

How can I possibly love anyone more!?

Why do they have to yell?

Omg...I just need a break.

How did I get so lucky to call these three angels my own?

Can't I just pee alone?

I need to savor this; they are getting older every second.

Am I teaching them enough?

Do they know how much I love them?

Ugh...I just need to breathe.

I can't wait until they sleep in.

I can't wait until they can wipe their own toosh.

Why does it have to go so fast?

Stop growing!

What did I do wrong that they wake up so damn early?

These boys are everything to me.

I just can't stop kissing those cheeks.

You crack me up!

Why do you always have to fight?

The daily to do list is endless...make coffee, make breakfast, laundry, drop off both kids at school, dishes and clean kitchen, play with baby, vacuum, clean and pick up house, put baby down for nap, work online job, laundry, pick up Xan, make coffee, make lunch, pick up Xav, put baby down for 2nd nap, tutor, play with kids, push kids on the swings, jump on trampoline with kids, pick up crap around the house, take boys to karate, make kids do their chores,  laundry, feed the dog, feed the fish, feed the lizard, make coffee, draw with Xav, color, cook dinner, dishes and clean the kitchen, give kids a bath, put baby down, read to big boys, sing three songs each, work online job...sleeeeeep.

Then there's meal planning and grocery shopping. Some weeks, I'm so good...meals all planned, one shopping trip. Other weeks, I'm at the grocery store every day. 

 My brain feels like it is so full, like nothing else will fit. Some days, I think, "How did I get it all done today?" And other days, it's "What did I actually accomplish today?"

I lay my head on the pillow at night and pray...

"Did I hug them enough?"

"Did I make them feel loved?"

"Was I patient and kind?"

"Did I yell?"

"Did I overreact?"

"God, help me be better tomorrow."

 

I know these days are so special and sweet.. I can feel the fleeting-ness.

 Savor. Savor and breathe.

This growing up thing is painful for Mama

My Xavier has his first loose tooth! Just the other day, I was looking at his toothless friends wondering when he would lose his...and here it is. I got so excited when he told me...so excited because this is huge in the his little growing up world.

 Then, I quickly felt a rush of sadness. Oh man...he is growing up. This is it...this tooth is going to lead to all of the teeth, and before I know it, he won't want to snuggle with me and watch cooking shows anymore. 

Ok - back up...slow down, Mama. We are so crazy, aren't we? So crazy in love with our kiddos that we want to hold on to every little second and stop time. The baby is 6 months old! Xander just turned 4, and now Xavier is losing teeth. How does this happen so fast!!??

Sigh...hold on tight. 

Wiggle, wiggle.

Funny things they said this week:

Xander: "Hey, Mom, that car had Florida on it too. That man lives in Florida too!" 

Xavier: "Mom, can you PLEASE stop at the store for water? I am SO dehydrated."

Xavier has a great friend named Jude (I love his mama dearly too). Jude hung the moon. What he says is GOLD. So, I have started writing down the things that Jude says that are "for real, Mom."

Xavier: "Jude says that there are bugs named apids that eat our plants."

Mom: "Yes, remember, they were on our vegetables? They are called aphids, and ladybugs eat them for us."

Xavier: "No Mom...APIDS...Jude said. And he knows everything about plants."

Xavier: "Did you know if you hold apids long enough, they will sting you?"

Mom: "I'm not sure they do sting, Xav."

Xavier: "No, they DO. Jude told me."

Xavier: "What was that noise? Maybe it was Bigfoot."

Mom: "I don't think Bigfoot is real, babe."

Xavier: "Yes he is! Jude saw him!"   (LOL - that one cracked me up!)

Xavier: "Mom, did you know that Jude told me [and this is for real Mom] that the number of spots ladybugs have on their backs is the number of families they have? So, if they have no spots, they have no family. If they have 5 spots, they have 5 families. Now, that's a lot of families." 

Xander: "Batman, where's the Joker?"

Omg...these boys make me laugh!

Weekly Xman Fun

Our biggest little man crawled into bed this morning...EARLY.

Xavier: "Mom, I love you so much."

Me: "I love you too, Buddy."

Xavier: "I love our family." And...back to sleep. 

Makes it all worth it. Makes 5:30 am not seem so bad.

Xander: "Mom, you are so much beautiful!"

Happy Birthday, Xan!! 4!

Xan pouting... ;)

When Xan gets in trouble now, he doesn't like his consequences. 

He says, "Mom, I do NOT like when you act like this.

"NO trespassing for bad guys" 

Sweet Taters! 

Kids say the funniest things (a weekly log)

The boys say the best one-liners...

I am going to try and capture them here each week so I never forget.

As we are leaving to take Xavier to school in the rain:

Xavier says in a stern voice, "Xander, under no circumstances can you go in THAT puddle!!"

Xavier: "Look Mom, he loves me!"

Xander:"Mommy, I love you more than wine!" Lol! Now that's a lot!

Xavier - "Mom, let's snuggle in your bed and watch a cooking show."

These boys...

Boys.
It's just me and all of these boys.

Legos

Dirt
Diapers
Action Figures
Laundry
Drawing
Kisses
Eating
Dishes
Hugs
Spit Up
Pretending
Diapers
Running
Bandaids
Eating
Scrapes and bruises
Bike Riding
Dirt
Jumping
Laundry
Wii U
Eating
Climbing
Dirt
Dishes
Legos

Love is:

Sticking our hands inside pumpkins even though it is "lucky" as Xan says (still working on the Y sound)

Roasting pumpkin seeds

 

Love is:

Taking FOREVER to pick a pumpkin.

Love is:

Amazing grandparents who love unconditionally. 

Love is: 

Brothers and best buddies...or "Bros" as Xav and Xan say.

Love is:

Baptizing three boys in the same church with the same wonderful priest.

Love is:

Wanting the GREEN cast and declaring it turquoise, "which is perfect, Mommy, because that's your favorite color."

Love is:

Driving up to meet the newest nephew

and blessing us with priceless newborn photos

Love is: 

COUSINS

who love each other tremendously

who cry when trips are canceled due to colds and fevers

who wrestle and laugh and squeal and scream

who snuggle

Love is:

Switching Halloween costumes 15 times

Wearing a mustache even though it's itchy

Sharing your candy with Mommy

Giving Daddy all of the Reeses

Love is:

Splashing in the waves.

Washing sand out of everything for days.

 Love is:

Chocolate cake for WyWy's Birthday and

Ice cream cake for Benny's

Love is:

Mema's bouncing knees

Love is:

Bath mohawks

Love is:

Nani tickles

Love is:

Big brothers 

Love is:

Raising our boys together

Love is:

Driving to drop off and pick up older brothers

In the car seat, out of the car seat, in the car seat...

Love is:

New haircuts 

 Love is:

Going to Publix for a cookie after karate

Love is:

Reading to your little brother

Love is:

Letting them climb too high

and yelling for them to come down.

BOYS...

ALL THESE BOYS.

Legos

Dirt

Diapers

Action Figures

Laundry

Drawing

Kisses

Eating

Dishes

Hugs

Spit Up

Pretending

Diapers

Running

Bandaids

Eating

Scrapes and bruises

Bike Riding

Dirt

Jumping

Laundry

Wii U

Eating

Climbing

Dirt

Dishes

Legos

and lots and lots of LOVE! 

P.S.

If you need me, I'll be at the grocery store restocking the monsters' food supply, in the drop-off or pick-up line, building Legos at the dining room table (AKA Lego building center), playing Star Wars Wii, or trapped under mountains of clean laundry.